Perfectly Imperfect: Embracing Hope and Imperfections at McLain Community High School.

This week, I spoke in front of dozens of high school students in Lakewood— many of whom are at-risk kids who have struggled with school, home life and other personal challenges— where I talked about my coming of age journey and struggles around mental health.

McClain Community High School in Lakewood is an alternative school that helps kids who struggle in traditional learning environments.

That’s something I know a lot about.

When I was in high school, I got kicked out of class all the time for bad behavior, disruptions and outbursts that would sometimes turn violent. I was diagnosed with mood disorders like Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Intermittent Explosive Disorder, which explained my mercurial temperament. But I also suffered a lot of pain around trauma and coming to terms with my sexuality at a time when society hadn’t embraced gay people. I would self-medicate my pain away with drugs and alcohol, which led to years of suffering from addiction and all its consequences.

Back From Broken Foundation founder Vic Vela speaks to students at McLain Community High School in Lakewood. Photo courtesy Evan Semón.

I talked to the students about a mental health meltdown I suffered during my senior year, where I kicked and threw chairs and punched holes in the wall in the principal’s office. I was suspended for the duration of my senior year and was barely able to graduate with a D-plus GPA. These things are painful to go through at any age, but even harder when you’re just a teenager with no coping skills.

While I attended a traditional high school, I wouldn’t have graduated if I hadn’t earned credits and accepted trauma counseling at an alternative school in my hometown of Longmont, which provided a lifeline for me at a really difficult time. The people who work at schools like Mclain are compassionate and understand that, for some of us, life isn’t easy.

When I embarked on my recovery journey from a long, crippling addiction to cocaine 10 years ago, I began the hard work around getting better. It started with coming to terms with the painful memories of my youth and, instead of looking back with shame, I felt compassion for my former self. And, by the way, I still struggle with mental and behavioral health issues— anyone who is close to me can attest to the fact that I am a constant work in progress. Those things never fully go away, which can be humbling. But instead of looking at my struggle like it’s a burden, I look at it as an opportunity for further self-exploration. Every fall presents an opportunity for renewal.

My message to students at McClain High School was this: Struggles with grades and attendance and testing, and struggles with life in general, don’t have to define who we are, nor do they take away from the many positive gifts we can offer the world as complicated, and perfectly imperfect, human beings.

No matter what life throws at us, we can recover. And the adversity we navigate will only make us stronger. We can achieve great things so long as we never, ever give up on ourselves. I encouraged the kids to ask for help whenever they struggle and reminded them that, not only is it perfectly OK to ask for help— it’s courageous to ask for help.

Back From Broken Foundation founder Vic Vela speaks to students at McLain Community High School in Lakewood. Photo courtesy Evan Semón.

Afterward, a young man approached me to thank me for my remarks. He said he struggled with a lot of things I had talked about. I nearly shed a tear when he said, “You gave me hope today.”

This is exactly the kind of thing I plan on doing at schools across Colorado— from cities to small, rural towns and underserved areas: To talk openly about the things that cause us suffering, to shatter stigma and spread hope. And you can help me do that by supporting the Back From Broken Foundation: TheBFBF.org/donate.

Thursday’s student enrichment forum in Lakewood was hosted by AAA Colorado. Thank you to my dear friends Skyler McKinley and Cassie Tanner for inviting me. And thank you to Evan Semón for taking and sharing these wonderful pics.